Divorce Online

WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY HOME IF I FILE FOR DIVORCE IN 2010?

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 15:25:56 +0000

We have been going through some of the worst economic times since The Great Depression. Numerous articles and newscasts have stated either that the housing market has bottomed out, or is still going down. In Michigan, we have the most depressed housing market in the United States. Other states, including Florida, California, and Arizona – just to name a few, are also going through some horrible economic times with regard to housing. In the past, before the economy bottomed out, homes were a family’s most valuable asset. In the last year and a half, that has changed substantially. In many of my divorce cases, the marital home is no longer an asset, but is heavily encumbered by debt. Many people purchased homes in the past ten years, expecting their home to become a piggy bank for future savings and retirement. Sadly, this is no longer the case. Many people were obtaining mortgages, followed by home equity loans and second mortgages, based upon numbers that no longer exist.

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PARENTING TIME

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 20:34:38 +0000

PRE-DIVORCE MEDIATION

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 16:06:50 +0000

In these tough economic times, where people are trying to save money and want to have an amicable divorce, an excellent way to do this is through a pre-divorce mediation package. I have handled several of these successfully, and would like to explain how it works.

Both the husband and wife meet with an attorney who specializes in family law and is also certified as a mediator, as are all of the attorneys at Gornbein Smith Peskin-Shepherd. An agreement is reached at the first meeting that the attorney will be acting as a mediator and will not be representing either the husband or wife in the divorce. The role of the attorney will be to meet with the parties to cover all issues in the divorce in an effort to help them resolve everything in an amicable fashion.

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9 WAYS TO SURVIVE DIVORCE FINANCIALLY IN 2009

Fri, 29 May 2009 15:37:55 +0000

By Henry S. Gornbein

9. Find out as much about your financials as possible before you file a divorce, so that there will be no surprises.

8. Try to find out as much as possible about your job security and if you aren’t employed, see what your options are for employment.

7. Carefully consider all options, especially whether or not the marriage can be saved.

6. Think about your house. Does it have a negative equity? Can you afford the payments? Do you want to stay in the house, or leave?

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Divorce and Bankruptcy

Tue, 26 May 2009 15:13:36 +0000

In these troubled economic times, more and more people are turning to the protection of the U.S. Bankruptcy Code to resolve their debts and protect their property from foreclosure and repossession.

More than 1 million people filed bankruptcy last year alone, and the numbers are only climbing as the recession hits homes.

Some people are finding that in order for them to save their homes from foreclosure or to gain control of their bills, they need to file bankruptcy in the middle of their divorce.

This can lead to many questions as the legal proceedings of bankruptcy and divorce intersect.

Read on to get answers to some bankruptcy and divorce questions you may have. ...»

Nine Ways to Deal with the System in Tough Times

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 18:35:50 +0000

by Henry S. Gornbein

9. Once your divorce is filed, find out as much as you can about the judge.

8. Stay out of court as much as possible because court appearances are costly, not only financially, but also from an emotional standpoint. Judges will not know you or your case unless you are in a situation where you are in court every week on motions or hearings, and often the judge will be getting a very negative impression of you.

7. Make sure that you and your attorney are well prepared before you go to court. Floundering around in court can create a bad impression, and is also costly.

6. Through your attorney, see if your judge is one who will cut court appearances to minimize expense. This can be done by, in some instances, having original pre-trials and some court appearances done by phone if the judge and the other attorney will agree.

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Divorce Recovery: Releasing the Toxic Emotions

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 03:18:45 +0000

Shelley Stile
Life Coach/Divorce Recovery for Women

The way to recover and thrive after divorce is simple: Until you can release the toxic emotions surrounding your divorce, it is impossible for you to move forward in life and be happy. It takes enormous commitment and effort but it can be achieved. If you want to lead a new life that is both fulfilling and happy, you must let go of the negative emotions and thoughts that hold you back from creating a life you love. And guess what else? Who do you suppose pays the biggest price when it comes to toxic emotions? You.

During the divorce process, the negative emotions that you were already experiencing in your marriage go haywire! During times of crisis, our world appears to crumble and with it our concept of whom we are. Our mind chatter turns up the volume to deafening levels. We question everything. We feel emotions so intense that we often wonder if we will survive them. Anger, sadness, depression, rage, grief, resentment, bitterness, and confusion are some of the feelings we are hit with. ...»

The Real Divorce: Cutting the Emotional Ties that Bind

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 00:39:49 +0000

by Shelley Stile

Your divorce decree is only step one in moving into a new life after divorce. The real divorce is the cutting of the emotional, mental and physical ties that still bind you to your ex-husband. This is the real work of divorce recovery: becoming a single woman possessed of confidence, self-esteem, an enthusiasm for life and most important, a complete break from the emotional turmoil that led to your divorce in the first place.

All too often, women experience the same conflicts with their ex that originally led to divorce: constant arguments, reactive behavior leading to emotional upsets, old patterns of reliance, the barrage of destructive barbs aimed at your self-esteem and deep hurts. To truly be divorced you must put forth great effort and inner work that will sever your ties to your ex and you must build a structure that will facilitate that work.

Let me give you examples: You and your ex have children together therefore you must be in contact with one another on a regular basis. Unfortunately, your discussions with him always end in an argument. Nothing happens easily. The deep resentments and hurts suffered in your marriage and actual divorce remain intact. You each know each other’s hot buttons and continue to push those buttons resulting in upsets. It’s the old marriage still running the game. You continually get sucked into this abyss.

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Recovering from Divorce: Honoring the Truth

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 17:31:59 +0000

By Shelley Stile

Do you remember the old adage that states there’s your side, there’s my side and then there’s the truth? If we were totally honest with ourselves, we too could see the truth of any situation. Once we accept that truth, we have the newfound freedom to gain clarity, discover our options and make real choices that are based in reality and not a subjective interpretation of what is. The past no longer runs the show. A world of possibilities opens that we might otherwise have missed. To recover from divorce one must face the truth.

The gist of the adage is that we don’t really see reality for what it is. Rather we see things through our interpretive abilities and we interpret things based on our past experiences. Reality gets fine tuned through our own personal filters. We live in a world based on the past, a world that no longer exists.

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Divorce Recovery: Releasing the Toxic Emotions

Tue, 20 May 2008 16:43:19 +0000

Shelley Stile ~ Life Coach/Divorce Recovery for Women

The way to recover and thrive after divorce is simple: Until you can release the toxic emotions surrounding your divorce, it is impossible for you to move forward in life and be happy. It takes enormous commitment and effort but it can be achieved. If you want to lead a new life that is both fulfilling and happy, you must let go of the negative emotions and thoughts that hold you back from creating a life you love. And guess what else? Who do you suppose pays the biggest price when it comes to toxic emotions? You.

During the divorce process, the negative emotions that you were already experiencing in your marriage go haywire! During times of crisis, our world appears to crumble and with it our concept of whom we are. Our mind chatter turns up the volume to deafening levels. We question everything. We feel emotions so intense that we often wonder if we will survive them. Anger, sadness, depression, rage, grief, resentment, bitterness, and confusion are some of the feelings we are hit with. ...»